Bruce...Cleanup On Aisle Two

I picked up Bruce Springsteen’s new album, Working on a Dream, the other day. I imported it into iTunes and have tried getting through it a few times on my iPod...to no avail. I can’t get past the over-the-top cheesiness of the thing. Read on for my critique.

To start, the album art is atrocious. Really, really terrible. Who okayed it? Then there’s Bruce’s dick broom. Shave that shit…who do you think you are, Phil Jackson? Nothing screams "I’m getting old and not enjoying it" more than a dirty dick duster. Then there’s the Wal-Mart exclusive Greatest Hits CD and the upcoming Super Bowl Halftime show. Good lord. I used to love this guy. One of the first cassettes I ever owned was Born in the USA. I still go back to that album; it’s genius. Some of his recent stuff is pretty good too. Check out Reno on Devils and Dust. That’s good writing. The thing that really depresses me about Working on a Dream is the quality (or lack thereof) of the songs. It seems as if Mr. Springsteen has lost or turned off is lyric quality control filter. His discernment is shot to hell. He needs to get some outside input and he needs to listen to that input. There is no way that a song like Queen of the Supermarket should be on a Bruce Springsteen album. It shouldn’t even qualify as a b-side. It’s absolutely terrible. Don’t believe me? Here are the lyrics (I’ve bolded the funniest parts):

There's a wonderful world where all you desire
And everything you've longed for is at your fingertips
Where the bittersweet taste of life is at your lips
Where aisles and aisles of dreams await you
And the cool promise of ecstasy fills the air
At the end of each working day she's waiting there

I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket
As the evening sky turns blue
A dream awaits in aisle number two

With my shopping cart I move through the heart
Of a sea of fools so blissfully unaware
That they're in the presence of something wonderful and rare
The way she moves behind the counter
Beneath her white apron her secret remains hers
As she bags the groceries her eyes so bored
And sure she's unobserved

I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket
There's nothing I can say
Each night I take my groceries and I drift away
And I drift away

Guidance from the gods above
At night I pray for the strength to tell her
When I love I love I love I love her so
Take my place in the check-out line
For one moment her eyes meet mine
I'm lifted up, lifted up, lifted up, lifted up

I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket
Though her company cap covers her hair
Nothing can hide the beauty waiting there
The beauty waiting there

I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket
I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket

As I lift my groceries in to my car
I turn back for a moment and catch a smile
That blows this whole fucking place apart

I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket
I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket
I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket
I'm in love with the Queen of the Supermarket

Man, that is some trash there. I should've just bolded the whole thing. C’mon Bruce…you’re better than this. Or are you? Maybe it’s my lyric quality control filter that needs changing. Fuck. I guess I'll have to listen to Neon Bible and Sam's Town to get my fix.