Twilight: Like vampires, it's fun, but it still sucks...

My irrational fascination with vampire lore is what initially drew me to this movie. When it comes to movies and comics, if there are vampires involved, I usually take a peek. Twilight was, in general, a mildly interesting movie. While the story is less than stunning, it was entertaining to take a look at vampires from yet another storyteller's eyes.

Before I go on, it is important to know the target audience for Twilight. The movie was, of course, trying to catch the interest of those who have read all four of Stephanie Meyers' Twilight series. And who are those who are such loyal fans, you ask? Girls in junior high and high school. You can almost smell the pandering to teen girls, it was so blatant. You should be warned that if you plan on seeing this movie in theaters, prepare to be surrounded by gossipy teen girls. On an ironic side note, the only people in my theater to have talked during the movie were two well dressed gentlemen I was sitting next to. I guess the young girls were left speechless by the actor who played charming vampire Edward Cullen, Robert Pattinson, who I have been made to understand is dreamy... Thank God.

My first quarrel with the film is the acting. It is a common complaint of the film, even among die-hard Twilight fans. Kristen Stewart, the actress who plays protagonist Bella Swan, is hard to read for her role. The character is a Arizona native that moves to Forks, Washington to live with her father, though she has never really 'fit in,' even when in Arizona . Considering this, the shy and reserved portrayal by Stewart seems appropriate. She plays the character well, considering Bella is the type of character who doesn't want to be noticed. Edward Cullen, though, is butchered. Edward is the secret vampire, who, being a vampire, doesn't want too much attention on himself. He constantly thirsts for Bella's blood, though from Pattinson's version of Edward, you'd think that he either just vomited in his mouth, or very badly needs to use the restroom. I understand that Edward needs to be sufficiently attractive to be a believable vampire, but Pattinson is just too damn good looking. It seems unreasonable that a secret vampire, especially one whose life depended on that secret remaining a secret, should dress that well or wear his hair so stylishly. These things are not Pattinson's fault, though. What is his fault is the inconsistent and fumbled attempts at recreating human emotion. There are moments where I found myself laughing out loud with the rest of the theater when we clearly were not supposed to be laughing. My impression of Pattinson is that he is an extremely good looking young man, who knows it too well. While watching Twilight, I found that Edward was only on screen for about half of the movie. The other half of the movie, we were looking at Robert Pattinson. Other than the blundered Edward, the rest of the actors portraying vampires did well, considering their characters. They seemed genuinely alien, a modest triumph for the filmmakers. The non-bloodsucking classmates at Bella's high school, though, were too over the top to believe. In fact, they were grinding, and you find yourself praying that they won't be onscreen much longer; at least Edward is fun to watch.

The soundtrack is an impressive mix-tape to find in a friend's car. For a movie, though, it seems extremely awkward and out of place. I must admit that I am a fan of the music played, and even referred to, during the film. The classical composer Debussy has a few songs that appear, as well as a song by Muse, and even the first track off of In Rainbows by Radiohead. The soundtrack comes off as one of two things: either too gimmicky to be taken seriously, or so out of place that your eyebrows scrunch up as you try to match the song to the mood in futility. I hate to say this, but the song Allstar by Smashmouth has fit better into movies than these songs. For whoever arranged the soundtrack, I only have two questions: 1) Seriously? and 2) Why?

Despite my eager criticism of Twilight, I actually left the theater satisfied. I enjoyed watching the movie. I won't go so far as to say it was cute like watching a toddler pretending to drive (the toddler being the filmmakers, and 'pretending to drive' being making the movie), but the failed attempt is still a good time. Rather than enjoying the film in spite of the faults, I believe that they enhanced the experience. If it had been simply mediocre, it wouldn't have been fun to watch. It is because the faults are so spectacularly entertaining that this movie is watchable. The feeling of enjoying the film with all it's little holes is, in my opinion, the same feeling I get when I see Johnny Knoxville get kicked in the groin. So, in my final opinion, it was worth seeing. I would recommend it to anybody with a sense of humor. It even has a grizzly fight scene (Grizzly used as an adjective. Sorry, no bears in this one). I think that most people will enjoy it, whether or not it's a great movie.